Self-talk

“Need” is not a four letter word

Posted by on Mar 16, 2013 in Expectations, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 0 comments

“Need” is not a four letter word

Ever since the Declaration of Independence 237 years ago, the concept of self-reliance has been instilled deeply into our consciousness. As a nation, the fledgling United States was not going to have to answer to some mother/’nother nation. Fast forward a few years to frontier days, and the concept of the lone cowboy or sole homesteader reinforced that independent ideal.  Perhaps the Women’s Movement piled a few more bricks onto this wall of expectation, with quotes (widely attributed to Gloria Steinem) such as “a woman without a man is like a fish without a...

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Holding up half the holiday sky?

Posted by on Dec 18, 2012 in Expectations, Life Balance, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Stress management, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 0 comments

Holding up half the holiday sky?

Grumble, gripe, and moan seems to be the less than merry refrain from nearly every woman I’ve encountered in the past week, as the break-neck pace of parties, school events, shopping, decorating, planning and scheming, card-addressing, and baking hurtles us toward Christmas. Women as a whole make Christmas happen, seemingly holding up way more than half the proverbial holiday sky. It’s a time of year that challenges the ever-teetering balance that we’ve carefully wreaked out for our lives. Yoga class, a daily run, healthy meals, time to sit and breathe, or any other form of hard-sought...

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Fifty Shades of Grey You DO Need

Posted by on Oct 23, 2012 in Expectations, Life Balance, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 10 comments

Fifty Shades of Grey You DO Need

Fifty Shades of Grey, the first book in the Fifty Shades trilogy by author E.L. James, has been on the New York Times bestseller list (along with the other two books in the trilogy) for thirty-three weeks, and counting. There is buzz about the film.  Even bigger buzz is about why the book has been such a hit, and inspiring either “love it or hate it” reactions. I confess, I haven’t read anymore than the first sample chapters that I could get for free on my iPad–and that didn’t drive me to instantly download the rest of the book. Since I was only mildly...

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Won’t she just grow up?

Posted by on Oct 14, 2012 in Expectations, Parenting, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 2 comments

Won’t she just grow up?

Hardly a girl escaped exposure to middle school terrorism: biting criticism about clothing, mean notes circulating, gym class taunting, teasing about lunchbox contents, cliques loudly discussing parties from which some were excluded. Even if you weren’t a target, bullying was surely on your social radar. You may have cringed as you witnessed it, rigorously monitoring your own behavior to avoid attracting the same fate. Perhaps you eventually breathed a sigh of relief, finding your high school or college niche, feeling strong in your network of supportive women. You grew out of it,...

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Eschew approval? Think again.

Posted by on Jul 26, 2012 in Expectations, Fuzzy Dichotomies, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Women's issues | 0 comments

Eschew approval? Think again.

While I know this dates me, one of my favorite shows when I was a kid (granted, there were only about three morning kids’ shows from from which to choose), was Captain Kangaroo. Kindly, portly, huggable Captain Kangaroo was like a grandpa in the living room, jollying us along to learn those kid-focused life lessons, supported by his sidekick, Mr. Greenjeans. Not unlike a 1950s Dr. Phil, mustache and all. And at least as I recall, each episode ended with the mantra-like repetition of this message: “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the...

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Psychologists: they’re just like us!

Posted by on May 22, 2012 in Expectations, Just Like Us!, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Who Says?! | 1 comment

Psychologists: they’re just like us!

During the phase of parenting teens, I was introduced to one of my daughters’ favorite features in Us Weekly Magazine called Celebrities: Just Like Us. In this feature, photos of megastars were shown in everyday, human activities: shopping for groceries, playing fetch with the dog, wiping noses of small children. This was a healthy dose of reality for our celebrity-worshipping culture, where airbrushing has given most of us an unrealistic view of the bodies and lives of those in the media spotlight. Once recent research study pointed out the time-honored reverence we have for the title,...

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