Self esteem

Just say no!

Posted by on Mar 29, 2012 in Expectations, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Women's issues | 0 comments

A good firm “no” is hard to come by in most women’s lives–and we’re not talking about the campaign related to drugs that most of us heard in middle school. Socialized as we are to please others, we buy into the unrealistic expectation that pleasing is even perfectly possible. ¬†And so we say “yes”–to another event, another task, another responsibility, all in the hopes of making everybody happy. Creating happiness and getting approval are worthy goals–until we find ourselves getting pulled into the depths of too much responsibility. The...

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Another thought about life’s pits

Posted by on Mar 23, 2012 in Expectations, Health, Parenting, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Stress management, Women's issues | 0 comments

While I don’t usually do ‘themes’ over several weeks, lately I seem to keep finding more to say about navigating the really tough parts of life. Part one noted that all of life involves struggles, and we fool ourselves if we believe 1) that life is harder for us than for others and/or 2) that we can avoid this part of life if we just behave in the right way. Part two stressed that the challenge of life is to navigate these trials; just see that they are essential to the path we’re living and we don’t have to like them. Reading while I enjoy my breakfast on a...

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Truth or consequences

Posted by on Feb 7, 2012 in Expectations, Relationships, Self esteem, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 0 comments

Truth or consequences

One of the hardest tasks in life is being true to one’s self. However inadvertent, most little girls are taught to value niceness over self-affirmation: “Did you make your friend cry?” “Don’t make Mommy mad.” “Be a good girl and smile”. While it is admirable to be a kind, considerate, nurturing person, too often we make this a priority at expense of our own needs. When generation upon generation parents with this goal of creating “nice” girls, models and skills are lacking to teach: How to balance our own needs with the needs of...

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Grade on the curve

Posted by on Jan 30, 2012 in Expectations, Parenting, Self esteem, Straight thinking, Stress management, Women's issues | 0 comments

Racing through our daily lives, maintaining the breakneck pace that seems essential to not sink in today’s economy (or with current standards for parenting), you are normal if you check out the competition. How is your neighbor doing? Or your coworker? Are you the only one treading water, trying not to get sucked into the undertow? This type of social comparison seems as essential to our self-image as the pace itself. And, like most of us, you are certain that you are the only one struggling. Everyone else seems to be breezing along, gaily checking off items on their “to do”...

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Truth in advertising

Posted by on Sep 19, 2011 in Expectations, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Women's issues | 2 comments

The phone rang. I still have a land line, though callers on that line other than political, nonprofit, and home remodeling solicitors are few. So I check the caller ID before I pick up. And this is what I saw: I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. How transparent! I didn’t pick it up (hmm, did I really need to clarify that point?). The machine did, promptly recording a message about the super low interest rate I could receive on my credit card if I’d just call promptly. I wondered how this happened. What company lists it’s business name as “phone scam”?...

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It’s not a super path

Posted by on Sep 1, 2011 in Expectations, Parenting, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Straight thinking, Stress management, Wand Targets | 0 comments

Superman/woman syndrome is a sneaky snake in current culture. No matter how many times we’ve heard it, somewhere deep within we harbor the feeling that we can do it all, being all things to all people. This myth dies hard. In straight thinking moments–or days–we embrace the bunk that is superwoman/man, and free ourselves from those expectations. Hurray for a small dose of reality. However, even when we readily admit that we can’t achieve superpowers, a sneaky leftover part of that drive to be super deserves the ‘who says’ challenge: beliefs about the path...

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