Expectations

Not your mama’s bucket list

Posted by on Sep 27, 2012 in Expectations, Life Balance, Straight thinking, Stress management, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 3 comments

Not your mama’s bucket list

  Bucket lists inspire us to live life fully, drawing us into imagining all the high points we hope to experience in this lifetime.  Ideally, we seize the day, jumping into life to accomplish that bucket list well before any immediate threat of kicking the proverbial bucket that lends its name to the list. Bucket lists propel us forward. Ever one to prefer shaking up tradition by flipping ideas around, I’m inspired this week by the opposite process. Look back, versus looking forward. Memoirs and end of life reviews offer retrospective, as defined in a post at Reason Creek, in this...

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Are you a sponge or a brick?

Posted by on Aug 24, 2012 in Expectations, Relationships, Self esteem, Straight thinking, Who Says?!, Women's issues | 1 comment

Are you a sponge or a brick?

The need for approval leads many women to sculpt and mold their bodies, personalities, even lives to fit either/both a societal ideal and an individual’s expectations.  Maybe the recent Olympics launched tears of boredom rather than emotion in you, but you smiled and nodded at others’ enthusiasm. In most women’s lives, it’s an ongoing struggle to find that balance of being fully me while still pleasing others.  Back in February, I explored this need for honest truth in our relationship lives, concluding that loss of self for the sake of a relationship does not lead...

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The flip side of approval-seeking

Posted by on Aug 2, 2012 in Expectations, Relationships, Self esteem, Straight thinking, Who Says?! | 1 comment

The flip side of approval-seeking

I never seem to quit thinking on a topic, even after I’ve written a blog. Last week, I explored the need for approval. That post was triggered by new research that confirmed my thoughts: that affirmation from others makes us happy. While we may not need others to rubber-stamp our lives, getting that little boost of “you’re okay” certainly can boost our mood. We don’t require it, hopefully; we just like it. As my brain pendulum seems to do, my thoughts have now swung to thinking about the opposite: not needing approval at all. COMPLETELY independent, perfectly...

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Eschew approval? Think again.

Posted by on Jul 26, 2012 in Expectations, Fuzzy Dichotomies, Relationships, Self esteem, Self-compassion, Self-talk, Straight thinking, Women's issues | 0 comments

Eschew approval? Think again.

While I know this dates me, one of my favorite shows when I was a kid (granted, there were only about three morning kids’ shows from from which to choose), was Captain Kangaroo. Kindly, portly, huggable Captain Kangaroo was like a grandpa in the living room, jollying us along to learn those kid-focused life lessons, supported by his sidekick, Mr. Greenjeans. Not unlike a 1950s Dr. Phil, mustache and all. And at least as I recall, each episode ended with the mantra-like repetition of this message: “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the...

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Another teeter-totter

Posted by on Jun 28, 2012 in Expectations, Life Balance, Parenting, Women's issues | 0 comments

Another teeter-totter

Hot topic on the net this week, at least until the Supreme Court ruled on the Affordable Care Act today, is this great article about “having it all” at The Atlantic.  I can’t even begin to cover all the great discussion this article has launched, but I am thoroughly thrilled that people are talking. I’d like to look at the main reasons I loved this article and the tidal wave of discussion it’s started. 1) The fiction that the first wave of feminism accomplished what we wanted it to accomplish is exposed. “Having it all” with no costs is a breezy lie....

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Just in time for Father’s Day, a new “Survivor” series . . .

Posted by on Jun 14, 2012 in Expectations, Parenting, Stress management | 1 comment

Just in time for Father’s Day, a new “Survivor” series . . .

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 2 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 2 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget enough money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on...

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